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No resolutions? No problem! No guilt.

01/03/08

This is going to be my year of the anti-resolution.

I decided I wasn’t going to make any resolutions, because every year I vow to do the same things I swore I’d do the year before - but didn’t.

This year, I ‘m pretty sure I am going to exceed my goals, which is easier when you don’t have any.

On January 2, I ate a burrito large enough to feed a small yet hungry Army platoon, with a side of fries. I felt no guilt, because at no time during the holidays did I vow to watch what I put into my mouth.

I’m sure there’s a salad in my future sometime this year, but I’m not worried about it.
I pleasantly surprised myself when I jogged from my front door to the car on New Year’s day. Of course, the neighbor’s dog was making a run for me, but I still did it.

Look at me go.

I patted myself on the back for not smoking a cigar I found on my coffee table. A shallow victory since I don’t smoke cigars, but a victory nonetheless.

I thought about expanding my vocabulary, but the one I’ve got has words I shouldn’t use anyway.

It’s not that I don’t have goals, I do.

Some of them are not suitable for publication, but I do want to travel to Ireland, learn to play guitar, scuba dive in non-shark-infested waters, and sing the theme from Titanic in front of a crowd while completely sober.

Just one time in my life I want to set dog poo on fire on somebody’s porch, ring the doorbell and run, or even bench press a bar with some weights actually on it.

I’m just going to be completely honest with you and myself and tell you up front that one of those things will never happen, and a couple are iffy.

I’m probably not going to run a marathon this year, add $1-million to my net worth or stop cussing.

But I might.

If any of the things happen it won’t be because of the blackeyed peas and cabbage I ate on New Year’s day...because I quit that too. I guess that means I did make an attainable goal this year.

So I’m ahead of the game already.