SPAM, the way I don't like it
11/15/07

About a month ago I began paying attention to the subject lines in my folder that catches SPAM, or junk, email.

I check my SPAM folder daily to make sure it hasn’t caught something that I truly needed like a website for makeup or flatulence machines.

What I noticed was that most of the email’s subject lines were written by people who are either profoundly smarmy, or do not yet have a grasp of the English language and/or punctution.

So I started collecting them, and feel I should pass them along. I will mention here that I am not revealing some of the subject lines from emails that are selling, um, male enhancement products, but I promise they more than met the criteria.

My favorites so far are:

Sing up!and get 500$
I get five hundred backward dollars for singing? Sign me up.

Uncle Sam could give you thousands of dollars
And then he could tax you for them.

Stay young behind the closed door
I don’t know what this one means, but someone in China does.

Doctor Ladiesman advises
I’ve been looking for a new doctor...

Thank you, a girl to be yours in here found!
My lord.

Get rid of yourself quickly (WEIGHT LOSS SUPPLEMENT)
That’s a pretty extreme way to hide the evidence.

Your own privater Vegas
Win a degree in English at our loose slots!

Cheap replica watches
At least they’re honest.

Hey, call me on this Monday
I’ll think about it Tuesday

Four girls from our site want to talk to you
I won’t talk to less than five.

Your ultimate handbag fantasy
I’ve had many fantasies in my life, but only one included a handbag.

Decorate your wallet for Xmas with a new MasterCard
I was wondering where to start, because my artificial tree is too large.

Someone even your Mom would like
Possibly even better than me.

You could find singles like you
No good could come of me dating someone like me.

What your feelings are telling him
This one made me laugh and I don’t know why.

100% Earth Friendly Kitty Litter
It’s called dirt.