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Working the Spring program

Thursday, March 31, 2022
Working the Spring program

Spring has sprung, y’all and I have the receipts.

I am officially working the program.

I have sensed the tension mounting for a while, and since we are in Texas, I believe this means we only have two more blizzards and an invasion of Murder Hornets before tornado season is officially announced.

The first sign for me that Spring is coming is that nagging feeling inside my soul that it is time to shave my legs and make my annual donation to Locks For Love. I expect a thank you note and a dozen roses from the Schick corporation any day now since I checked that off my list.

Also, in the past week I have washed my car and eaten a refreshing salad, which means something is surely amiss.

I even thought about planting flowers as I laid around in my pajamas, then I actually cleaned out closets.

Then I painted my toenails so I wouldn’t look like a bridge troll when the temperature hit 90 degrees here earlier this week and I had to wear sandals (see above: closet cleaning was required to find those sandals). But it was boot weather again by Wednesday, because it is not simply Spring, but Spring in Texas.

The only thing I have left to complete the launch is finding a white purse and a floral shirt with huge fuchsia pink earrings which seems to be the Spring trend in North Texas this year, along with surprise tornadoes.

I’m afraid I will fail at the floral and pink test because if you know me, I didn’t inherit my mother’s sense of style, and as such, my main color pallet is neutral, black and denim.

If you see me wearing actual colors, it’s because someone bought it for me in an attempt to force me to look less goth.

I usually wear these things in the Spring, when all things are new and I’m feeling that “new year, new me” vibe. Still, I end up looking like I’m wearing somebody’s vintage British wallpaper.

Regardless, like a fresh coat of paint on your toes and smooth legs, Spring is the season of renewal. Even if you are renewing in a storm shelter.