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Yes, I can hear you now

Thursday, March 10, 2022
Yes, I can hear you now

Last week, I promised I would fill you in on my day-long experience at a hospital campus so big, I felt like an Easter egg with little chance of being found most of the day.

But before I begin, it’s important to note that in these current times in particular - whatever hard thing is going on in your life mixed with some pretty horrific global events - it’s more important than ever to take every opportunity to seek out the better side of anything you can. That’s what I did.

When a person is waiting around a medical facility so huge it makes her relive the horrors of the first day of high school, a person finds things to do, places to go, and people to see.

I found the cafeteria because food and fully-caffeinated and sugared extra large Cokes is one of my many coping mechanisms.

After that I did a dry run to find our car in the parking garage, because according to the powers that be I would be driving my husband home because “he’s likely to be a little goofy.”

Oh boy.

I got lost going to the parking garage and couldn’t find our car. I was worried when it was time to leave, we would have to take an uber home and that wasn’t budgeted for this year.

But the big news for the day was telephone etiquette and what it sounds like these days.

You should know that all bets are off with cell phone use in the world of medical facilities and airports.

When I found my first bathroom of the day at UT Southwest, I walked in to find another woman walking out of a bathroom stall with her cell phone on speaker (max volume) and she was chatting up a storm, above the noise of the flush behind her. She continued through the hand washing portion of her stop in the latrine and I’m assuming the call ended sometime after her gynecological exam.

After eating, getting lost and hunting for bathrooms, I finally settled down in the waiting room. I never got to my book, which was OK because I ended up living out 10 different lives in real time.

A couple across the room passed their time by having a very public conversation on speaker phone. Just so you know, Jessica has grandpa wrapped around her little finger and Jackson needs an attitude adjustment. No word yet on family counseling.

A few in there, much older than me, were playing intense games of Candy Crush, and a trio behind me in the waiting room passed the phone back and forth, on speaker of course, because I have never not wanted to know how grandma’s doing. She has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, by the way.

While there’s a lot of HIPPA stuff going on inside patient rooms, people on the outside don’t think anyone is listening, and they are so wrong.

I am listening because it’s fair game when I can hear you over the Price is Right. And, conversations like that sponsor columns like this.

For the record, I found the car and it was only a mile up from where I thought it was. No biggie and no Uber required.